


A Long Day from Home

by RegalMisfortune



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Kirin is an amused goatman, Twilight Forest, Xeph does threaten to strangle people but nothing actually happens, Xephos is a frustrated grump for 2/3 of this fic, also there's like two swears, because Xeph needs soap for that naughty language, mentions of Lalna and Sjin, nothing bad happens, they don't actually appear but Xeph still wants to throttle them both
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 14:05:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5873296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RegalMisfortune/pseuds/RegalMisfortune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xephos' day quickly went from bad to worse. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong, and when he'd stomped off to solve another crisis caused by the walking, breathing chaos known as Sjin and Lalna, he ended up pitching head first into a portal to the Twilight Forest. </p>
<p>With the portal broken behind him, Xephos found himself stuck and utterly lost in this twisted maze of flora, ready to wring Sjin's neck as soon as he got back home. Also, who does this goat-deer-man-being think he is?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Long Day from Home

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank Tumblr users popcornflavoredtea, froggylee, and wolfeyrainbows for giving me such great ideas. Also thank you froggylee for editing this. 
> 
> I'd also like to curse two of you for keeping me up at night to write this. I need my sleep, dammit.

Xephos should’ve had known that the day would go from bad to worse when he woke up to sliding off the workbench he had fallen asleep on, slamming his elbow hard into the corner of the wood in his frantic flailing to catch himself. The rest of the morning had gone in similar fashion of disaster- pipes breaking, tools being misplaced, a machine spontaneously combusting with no cause or reason.

There was a permanent wrinkle between his brows when he heard someone calling for him.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Xephos snipped back, shutting the toolbox he had previously been digging through with a little more force than was necessary. He would just have to go look for his runaway screwdriver later.

The sun was unbearably bright when the man stepped out; he cursed under his breath as he lifted a hand to shield his eyes from the insufferable light. No one was in sight, naturally, and with no other calls to guide him, Xephos would have to go search for them.

Of fucking course.

“It better not be Sjin and Lalna trying to sabotage each other’s work again,” Xephos grumbled under his breath as he stomped towards the direction he hoped would lead him straight to the troublesome pair. This would be the fourth time this week if they were; he was going to crack their heads together, he was so fucking done with-

His train of thought was derailed as he rounded a corner and his foot found air rather than the ground.

Xephos lurched forward, kicking up a few flowers as his other foot scrambled and failed to regain balance, his arms flying out to grasp at something, anything. Yet all efforts failed as he pitched head first into a flickering purple pool. His cry of surprise wedged itself in his throat as the sensation of slowly being crushed wrapped around his lanky frame. Oh, stars and nebulas- he was going to die, he was going to-

Xephos’ face made itself acquainted with a bush.

Spluttering leaves out of his mouth, Xephos pulled himself out of the clinging branches, twigs poking and scratching at his face and clothing. Ignoring the stubborn twigs in his hair, he turned around to figure out what the hell just happened.

A small hole in the ground a few feet behind him drew his attention, the small flowers adorning its edges dancing lightly in the breeze. Xephos recognized the shape- it was a portal that Sjin made at one point, saying it was to go to the… Twinkle Forest? It was something along those lines, and way over Xephos’ head. He never could get a good grasp on the very concept of magic.

Still, the portal wasn’t looking very… portal-y. The basin was empty (wasn’t there supposed to be water in it?) and a few of the flowers bordering it appeared a bit haggard. And he was sure that portal openings were supposed to be purple…

A growing sense of dread settled into Xephos’ stomach as things started to click into place. Slowly he tilted his head skyward, hoping, praying, that he was still back at home where he could kill Sjin for putting a portal in the most inconvenient spot on the planet.

He was greeted by a thick canopy of leaves.

Well, shit.

After the realization that he was stuck in the Twiddle Forest, Xephos had tried- and failed- to reactivate the portal. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do to activate it, other than the ring of flowers and maybe water? He couldn’t remember, and even remotely thinking of something that reminded him of Sjin made his mood sour faster than a spoiled lemon. So once he got sick of trying to fix the portal (he ended up filling the entire hole with leaves and a friendly squirrel as a last resort), Xephos stormed out of the area in hope that maybe he could find another portal. There were other magic users around- there had to be another portal.

The forest was getting darker as he went, the canopy getting higher and denser with each step. The darkness was both disconcerting and a comfort- it was easier for him see in the dark, but the most dangerous things also lived in the shadows. So far there were no signs of anything other than birds and the occasional chitter of squirrels, but that didn’t placate Xephos.

Actually, the sounds were starting to grate on his nerves.

“I am going to kill him when I get back,” Xephos growled under his breath as he attempted to step over a shrub.

“Kill who?”

The second voice startled Xephos- a loud squeak escaping his throat as he stumbled over the shrub he had previously been trying to get over. This time he had been lucky to catch himself before he could greet the ground again with his face, his eyes snapping towards the source of the voice.

Who was standing right in front of him.

The…man…creature… was tall, even compared to Xephos, who was always being teased for his height by the others. The one in front of him was only a handful of inches taller, but he was unbelievably broad, making him seem much, much larger, especially with the dark blue, almost black robes that were stretched across his shoulders and draped down to the ground. Large horns curled from the sides of his head while antlers sprouted from his forehead, their bright, hot blue color appearing to almost glow in the dim forest. Electric blue eyes gazed down at him from under curls of blond hair, crinkled with silent mirth.

Xephos narrowed his own eyes at the being draped in dark robes, his previous ire returning with full force. He wasn’t going to be the source of amusement by this goat...man…thing.

“That, my friend, is none of your business,” Xephos managed to ground out, folding his arms as he glared up at the intruder.

The horned man’s smile was supposed to be disarming, but there was something about his eyes that would make anyone else cow under the intense gaze. It was the look of someone who was very dangerous and wanted answers. Xephos knew that look well, and he certainly wasn’t going to play his game.

“You are in my territory,” the goat-deer-man replied, his voice rumbling slightly like distant thunder. It made the hair on the back of Xephos’ neck stand up- or was that static? He’d figure it out later. “And such, everything is my business.”

He sounded so certain, looking both friendly and dangerous at the same time, commanding him to answer him. But Xephos didn’t have the patience to deal with goat-men today.

“Listen, I don’t know if this Twinkly Forest or Tiddle Forest or whatever it’s called is yours,” Xephos snapped, his mouth running away with his frustration before he could put a leash on it. “And I’m sorry for dropping in unannounced like this, but right now all I want is to find a fucking portal out of here that works so I can strangle Sjin for sticking his in the stupidest place on this damned planet. I’ll gladly leave you to this pocket dimension or hallucinogenic trip or _something_ , but I got sticks in places I don’t want them in and I just want to go _home_!”

With the last word out of his mouth, Xephos shoved past the horned being, not even looking back to see his reaction as he stomped away through the undergrowth. He was very much done with today, and just wanted to go collapse on a bed and sleep for five years after everything was said and done.

An hour had passed, and Xephos was still, undoubtedly, lost. The trees all looked the same, and being unable to see the sky, he was uncertain which way was north- if there even was a north. Perhaps he shouldn’t have exploded at the strange goat-man, at least he’d know where the nearest portal was.

Xephos paused for a moment, his brow creasing in thought. Why hadn’t something that intimidating and powerful let him go after he yelled at it? If he had been yelled at like that by someone intruding on his home, he’d probably slap them and remind them how rude they were being. Yet that creature… he could’ve killed him in a heartbeat.

So why was his heart still in his chest?

Shaking the thought out of his head for now, Xephos forged on ahead, cursing softly at each branch that clung to his clothes. Yet at time progressed, he was getting less and less frustrated and more and more exhausted. He couldn’t tell how long it had been since he started his trek, but he really needed to take a break.

At the next patch of grass he came to, Xephos collapsed onto it, groaning as his body protested- his feet especially so. He hadn’t hiked like that in ages, not since basic- survival training and all that. Even after his crash landing onto the planet he always took breaks in walking and hiking unless it was night before he ran into his current friends.

He wondered if Sjin and Lalna noticed he was missing yet.

Groaning softly at the thought, Xephos draped an arm over his eyes, heaving a heavy, tired sigh. The grass was surprisingly soft, and between the soft sounds of insects and the gentle rustling of leaves, Xephos didn’t want to get back up. It was almost…peaceful. No explosions, no yelling, just him and the trees.

He wasn’t sure when he had fallen asleep, but Xephos jerked awake with a small intake of breath. Disoriented, he sat up, blinking groggily as he looked around. The sight of the trees around him caused the memories to come crashing back down, and Xephos buried his face in his hands, groaning. He was still lost in the Tinkle Forest, and he had yelled at one of the local denizens. Oh hell, he had completely exploded at someone!

Now that the frustrations and anger built up from before were gone, guilt and worry chewed at his gut. Why hadn’t he thought of that the first time he pondered on the strange goat-man? He must’ve been downright rude! And then he just, stormed off, without answering his questions, stomping through his forest like some belligerent! He even brushed aside the thought of the being killing him for his actions earlier! Why hadn’t he been more worried?! He literally had just gone “Why am I still alive? Oh well, back to sulking!” and he was still lost!

With a self-irritated huff, Xephos dropped his hands into his lap, ready to get his aching body up and back to walking. Yet his fingers brushed against soft, almost silky fabric- a far contrast to his rough trousers. Startled, the man looked down, his eyebrows rising to his hairline as he gazed at a dark blue, almost black over robe.

Oh.

_Oh._

Dread grasping at his chest, Xephos slowly turned his head, silently hoping that he wouldn’t see anyone. But his luck had, undeniably, ran out, as his eyes locked with the amused, electric gaze.

The goat-deer-man-thing was sitting just out of reach, massive legs folded neatly under him as he watched Xephos. His over robe was, in fact, the one currently pooled in Xephos’ lap, exposing a simple white tunic tucked into black pants. A small flicker of movement caught Xephos’ eye, distracting him for a moment from staring at being’s face.

“You have a tail?” As soon as the words left Xephos’ mouth, he wanted to slap himself, his face flushing. Of all things he could’ve said, he had to pick the rudest one in existence. Why couldn’t he have said “thank you” or “I’m sorry”?

It seemed that his startled question didn’t offend the being any; a low chuckle rumbling from his chest. “Indeed I do,” the goat-man replied, his eyes glinting with growing amusement as the tail in question flicked and curled slightly. “I assume you are feeling better?”

It took a moment for Xephos to readjust himself, blinking owlishly at the goat-man-being before nodding. “I, ah, yes. Sorry. I was, uh, very frustrated and angry. Sorry for blowing up at you like that. I…I didn’t mean to. I feel better now, thank you.” Xephos stopped himself from rambling further, his face growing hotter as he rubbed the back of his neck, managing to loosen a leaf from his hair in the process. He wished the ground would just swallow him whole, make him disappear from this horrible embarrassment.

“There’s no need to apologize,” the being said, raising a hand in a hushing gesture. “I, too, owe you one. I may have been a bit forceful in our first meeting. I have been watching that portal for some time, and you weren’t the same person who had been using it before. I was…concerned…that you were like the other who takes things from this forest and kills without question or regard. Yet your confusion and frustration proved your innocence.”

The tension in Xephos’ shoulders lifted at the being’s words, sighing with relief. “So you aren’t going to kill me for being so rude?” he asked, his tone a bit lighter as he gave the being a small smile. It widened as the gesture was returned.

“If I was, you would already be dead,” the being replied; Xephos had no question that the creature could’ve, and would’ve, struck him down in a heartbeat.

“Well, thank you for not killing me.” Xephos couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the conversation, shaking his head as he slowly pushed himself up to his feet, grunting as joints popped and muscles protested. “And, well, thank you for, um.” He lifted the robe that had been covering him up in silent explanation.

The goat-man-being, who had rose up when Xephos did, smiled genially, his large hands clasping around the offered robe. “You’re very welcome,” the being answered, folding the robe and resting it over one shoulder, forgoing putting it back on. “Now then, I suppose you wish to return back to the Overworld, mister…?”

“Oh! It’s Xephos, friend. Just Xephos; no need for the mister business. And yes, thank you.”

“Xephos…” the being murmured, his smile soft as he looked at the man in question before turning to lead him through the thicket. “You may call me Kirin.”

They fell into a comfortable silence as they trekked, Xephos indulging his curiosity as he let his gaze wander at the local flora. He had been too agitated to care before he fell asleep, but now that he wasn’t worried about looking for a portal, he could take in the natural beauty of the place. It was so wild, yet peaceful at the same time. He recalled from a conversation between Sjin and Lalna that there were Nagas and other creatures that were highly dangerous lurking in here, but they usually kept into their own sections of the sprawling wilderness.

It was dangerously beautiful…much like space was.

Xephos’ admiration of the place was cut short as he bumped into Kirin’s broad back, spluttering out an apology that drew another chuckle from the larger being.

“We are here,” Kirin stated, stepping aside to let Xephos see the glowing purple portal in the earth. “It is an abandoned portal, but it is close enough to the one you came out of that you should be able to make it back home.”

“Thank you, friend!” Xephos couldn’t help but smile, patting Kirin on the arm. “See you around sometime?”

“Yes,” Kirin murmured as he watched Xephos drop through the portal with a thoughtful expression. “See you around…friend…”


End file.
